Mark A. Carter
 

TREE FROGS, alien abduction, and eye surgery

World famous Canadian Science Fiction novelist Mark A. Carter rants about alien abductions, eye surgery, and his missing red-eyed tree frog.

Help me.

In 2007 I had cataract surgery twice. They don't actually remove the damaged lenses anymore. That takes too much time. Instead they dissolve the cataract within the lens pocket in a process called phacoemulsification, and pop in a synthetic lens. Badda bing, badda boom, et voilà.

A Johnny shirt was handed out when we checked in. Surgical hats and three sets of eye drops were administered in the outer waiting room. Six of us at a time were taken into the inner room, where we were placed on gurneys with our heads dipped back. Mild sedation was administered intravenously.

And as I looked around when I should have been lying there and quietly waiting to be rolled into surgery for the single eye ten minute procedure, I thought, "The people lying beside me are in a catatonic state, as if they have been abducted by aliens and were waiting to be experimented on." I tried talking with them but they were out there like Pluto. So I told them I was from Zeta Reticuli, and there to administer their anal probe. No one protested. Instead, they said, "Okay." Oi. And no one stopped to ask whether I was from Zeta Reticuli 1 or 2. God is in the details.

The point of my experience is that the patients who had never received mild sedation before likely interpreted the boiler plate surgery as something other, something far stranger than what it appeared to me. They most surely saw it as alien abduction and experimentation, or would once the repressed memory or dissociative amnesia of the horrific or traumatic event surfaced years later.

The surgical apparatus, namely the eyelid retractor, was reminiscent of A Clockwork Orange. Otherwise, the surgery was painless: more eye drops, incision into the cornea, insertion of the phaco tool, water draining down my cheek, the placement of the rolled up lense, and a psychedelic light show that lasted for a few days. It was all repeated for the other eye in a week. That time I went blind for eighteen hours, but that's another story.

In 2008, I moved, and my stuffed red-eyed tree frog with its Velcro™ hands and feet went missing. He had been hanging on the back of my office chair for months. But after the move he was nowhere to be seen. Instead, I had the faint memory of him lying helplessly in my open office trash basket where he had fallen as I packed.

I can't believe that I forgot about him in my office trash basket, bundled the trash bag, and threw it and him away while intoxicated with 3-methylmorphine. I believe that seeing him in my trash basket is a screen memory given to me by aliens who abducted him through the wall of my home office.

They also planted the idea within me that he would be found eventually packed where I least expected it, after the Zetas returned him from his vacation on their home world. Thus far, after looking everywhere, I have not found him. If he has been returned to someone else by the aliens, since other abduction / return accounts have also commented on the lack of accuracy on the part of these blue, gray, or green interlopers, please contact me.

   

I'm back.

I feel like a tadpole.

But you're looking older.

To see how I worked weird kind of stuff like this, including aliens, alternate realities, and drug-induced hallucinations about demonic monkeys, read my Mythpunk / Science Fiction novel Hephzibah of Heaven.

Read: Infection, delusion, and alien invasion
Aliens and Angels
Bible Aliens
Bug-eyed Monsters
Cloudcuckooland, Inferno, and Nineteen Eighty-Four
Centipedes and Homo Sapiens
Rectal Probe

Now you know.

from the imagination of Mark A. Carter - novelist

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